What does Christmas mean to you? Does it mean having eggnog and getting cozy by the fire? Or setting up Christmas decorations and almost falling off the roof of the house, like Clark Griswold in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation? Christmas for me is usually the latter of the two, but for a lot of people Christmas is a giant death spiral of anxiety and indecision!!!! AHHHH, the horror! Ok, maybe I’m taking that a little too far. But not knowing the correct gift to get your little runny-nosed elf, that you love and cherish (even if they don’t clean their room, and cut their sisters hair off, and pretty much drive you nuts), can give even the toughest of parents a bit of anxiety!
Don’t fear, weary moms and dads! Santa Ernie is here to save the day with my totally cool list of great gifts to get your kids and significant other!
I know, I know, you can thank me later…. Oh you’re too kind… Stop! I’m blushing! Please, really, you’re embarrassing me! So any who… away we go!
Well first up, like any trained athlete you have to warm up. You can’t go out in to cyber space feeling all cold and ornery. The internet will eat you alive! What I propose is a little liquid limbering courage, preferably liquor! You need a quick buzz cause 
there are cookies baking, and beer and wine take too long, and you aint got all day! My pick for the holiday season is whisky! Ideally Jameson’s Irish whisky. It’s a smooth malt, with just the right amount of Woopow! that you’re gonna need for this holiday season. I’m serious folks.. You can’t go into this all clear-eyed. You want to remember the least amount of this after you get your credit card bill. Denial can be oh so sweet!
Ok so we are good and greased up after our nips and sips from that good ol’ holly jolly nectar we call Christmas Cheer. Now it’s time to think what to get these crazy people we call loved ones. It’s easier if you break it up into categories..
Do you have a gamer in the family? Do I really need to ask that question…? I don’t think it would be a billion dollar industry if there wasn’t at least one person in every family. Well the hot game this season is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Yes this will get any gamers blood pumping with its crazy life-like graphics! Just make sure it’s for a mature gamer. These life-like graphics are pretty violent.
Now here’s a little tip: Get a new Flat screen TV and you have just killed two birds with one stone. You have bought a new TV for Dad, and gotten the gamer something to use to see all those cool graphics.
Ok now that that’s taken care of.. For you clueless Husbands and boyfriends: Your girl, wife, or significant other, doesn’t have the same interests as you. You may think that the appliance that sits on the counter and purees stuff is the best gift ever, but you’re sending her a message saying, “Hey, why don’t you make some food?” Do you want to sleep on the couch? I’m not saying you have to buy her a diamond necklace, but the gift does have to have some thought, and it should be a big-ticket item. So if you have a girlfriend, wife, or significant other who’s plugged into this crazy social network most Americans call “normal” now… Get her the iPad 2. Or if she is more of the salt-of-the-earth type, get her some footie pajamas! Who doesn’t like footie pajamas!? Either way she will be more apt to not wanna stab you if you actually buy something that is meant for her. Tread lightly, friends…
Now, since this is a books and music blog, how bout some gifts for the reader or music lover in your life? If you have a Horror fan amongst you, Stephen King put out a new one recently called 11/22/63 about a man who goes back and prevents the Kennedy assasination. This is also an e-book if your reader doesn’t want to pull a muscle lugging around this 866-paged tome. And what kind of device can they read this on, you ask… well the Kindle fire of course! This is the all-purpose reading device that allows you to read magazines and newspapers, and download songs and movies, as well as pretty much any other media you can think of.
So now that we have covered the books part, what about music? The Bose Sounddock is the perfect gift for any music lover. What? You don’t want to hear Junior’s taste in music? Well get him a pair of these earbuds. Life is sweet when you don’t have to listen to the same song by Lady Gaga for the 100th time. Trust me, you’re gonna wanna get a pair of these.
Now, what to get the little tikes with sugarplums dancing in their heads? I say start em learning young! Leap pad has some pretty amazing learning toys that are new this year. Don’t get the kid some mindless Barbie Playhouse or GI Joe. Get them something that is gonna help your little geniuses in the long run. There are too many ignorant kids on the naughty list already! If you absolutely can’t help yourself, get em the Air swimmer remote control inflatable shark!! Flying sharks!!! Fun for the whole family!
Well, I will leave you to your thoughts now. Just remember what Christmas is all about: Spending time with family members you don’t really like and being forced to buy them presents…. Just Kidding!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Jamul Books and Music and Movies 